Monday, June 4, 2012
Some days God speaks big things to me. He opens my eyes wide, miraculously loosens my grip, unleashes goosebumps onto my skin, and sets my heart a pitter-patter. And I stand amazed, awestruck, silenced and searching for someone to share with all at the same time.
Other days I hear nothing.
I don't know why. Well, actually, I think a zillion little things keep me from hearing anything from the Lover of my soul.
Perhaps He is being silent for a reason, one of many reasons.
Perhaps my own sin blocks the communication channels and he waits patiently for me to deal with my stuff and get it out of the way.
Perhaps He's waiting, gaze full on me, until I turn my gaze fully to Him, putting aside my simple distractions and granting Him my full attention. He certainly deserves it.
Other days, I hear Him, but His words do not send chill bumps or amaze me.
His Words simply settle me, set me securely on a wide place, steady me, and send me on my way.
And those are the words I've been hearing lately. I may long for the soul stirring, the awe-inspiring, the worthy of passing on.
But right now, God is speaking peace over me. He is gently reviewing me on the basics, reminding me of what I already know, reassuring me that He is who I know Him to be...and so much more, but that is yet to come. And together we are celebrating the good, the sweet, the sufficient, the gentle, the soft. There are no trumpets, no fanfare. There are no fireworks or booming canons.
There is just a still, small voice.
And so, search as I may for something big and grand and awe-inspiring to pass on to you, dear reader, I have nothing. Everything I hear from Him is too personal to pass on, to quiet to echo, to gentle to advertise. And I don't know whether to apologize or to relax and enjoy the ease of this time.
You know how sweet it is to ride in the car or take a lengthy walk or wash dishes or swing on the front porch swing with someone you love, and savor even the silence between you? How you don't resist that void or try to fill it, but you just relax into it and let it be?
Well, that's where I've been with God these past few days. And at first it unsettled me. It seemed other bloggers were sharing earth shattering revelations, pithy and personal proclamations, inspiring lessons from Scripture, or extremely interesting accounts of recent activity or blessings.
And I had nothing.
But now, I've decided this quiet place I'm in with Jesus right now is a sweet spot. And I've decided not to resist it or be appalled at it or try to fill it.
I talk to Him. He talks back gently and easily. To some we might sound like two old married folks sitting on the front porch sharing nothing much. But, hey, isn't that ok?
I know He'll amaze me, rattle me, jolt me, and wow me again. I'll ask big questions and He'll give direct and profound answers. I'll challenge Him, and He'll set me straight. Things will undoubtedly even get a little heated now and then. But right now...we're "just a swingin'."
Have you ever been here? How does it make you feel? Does it worry you (as it has me, at times) or does it give you an indescribable joy? I'd love to know what you make of these quiet times?