Today is one of those days when I'm going to really let my guard down and give you a peek into the hidden places in my heart. That is, I will give you that peek if I manage to type this quickly enough so that I don't change my mind...or delete it later. So here's the dirt. Listen up!
I'm a glory hog. Ooh. That's so ugly. And it pains me to type it. But it's true. I like me a little glory.
I like compliments. I like second glances. I desire affirmation. I appreciate thank you notes and personal offerings of thanks. I get a rush when someone smiles at me and nods their head in agreement with whatever I've just said. I love for someone to tell me I'm right, and it's even better, of course, when they go on and on about it.
Bleh! What ugliness!
Truthfully--because I'm really being truthful with you here, dirt and all--there are also times when I wince at appreciation and shrink back from applause. There are times when I deflect all praise and affirmation. Really, I do.
But in my flesh of flesh, my carnal woman, my ego and id and odd, I still long to be affirmed, appreciated, and even applauded.
However, I'm here to tell you today that, while I don't yet have this prideful, self-seeking ugliness under control, I do have a plan.
It is for this very reason that I began several months ago meditating on and memorizing this well stated pledge from Psalm 115:1:
Not to us, O Lord,
Not to us,
But to Thy name give glory
Because of Thy lovingkindness,
Because of Thy truth.
I love me some glory, you see, but I love it even more when my God comes shining through and takes it all. I honestly do. And so I've found the remedy for my own pride and glory-seeking to be giving Him all the glory instead. When I praise Him and throw any compliments or affirmation I receive His way, I feel lighter and more joyful. Over time I've actually come to enjoy Him getting all the glory! After all, He alone deserves it.
I say and meditate on this verse most every morning and even frequently throughout the day. And it helps me to walk in the spirit (humbly and submissively) rather than in the flesh (all glory-hogging and all). It reminds me that my goal is to be a freshly cleaned and spotless mirror, reflecting His character and revealing His glory, not mine. It's His little light I am shining, not my own.
Do you ever crave a little glory? Come on. Tell me the truth. Or at least tell Him the truth. How do you stay humble even when everything in you cries out for a little attention? I'd love to know!
Labels: God's glory, Humility, My Daily Bread